Final Fantasy : Advent Children

Thursday, May 24, 2007

hahax.i have reached my peak.

i wanna grow old with you - westlife

nothing special this evening. cept my mei mei's bday!

hahax. happy bday u!
i have known you all my life.
i have walked as u have walked.
i have fallen as u have fallen.

Its been 17 years now.
things have changed so much.
yet, some little things still linger.
the person who was,is and is going to be.

hmmm. i am happy to say i am proud of you are now!
altho i still most certainly agree that u,like me, have plenty of space for improvement.
there always be things we will never see eye to eye.
but we are FAMILY, so its alright.

i apologise that i havent gotten u a gift,
its been a while since i got u something nice.
hahax.
pls hold on tight , while i try to get u something.

hahax. my apologies i am kinda tired now.
i cant blog much for you now.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
my eyes are closing.
the end of the day has arrived.
looks like i cant do anymore work tonight.
or play anymore tonight.

this week has been good to me.
my frens have passed their tests!
i am still on the brink of good health.
i still have great frens.

but , sadly.
i have gotten wearier.
new sources of energy are still streaming in.
but i feel exhausted.

i dun even wanna lift up my head anymore.
i just shuffle my feet.
planning for tomorrow?
nope.i just live for today.

maybe i just need another retreat.
a peaceful one. with me and God. and some quiet.
i know i havent done much.
but its like my body wont take much more.

hee hee, i havent done wad God wants me to.
but i feel like asking him to take me out.
i dun wanna play the game of life anymore.
i want to sit in olympia and drink nectar.

but when i think of the upcoming movies.
i get slightly excited.
i am thinking of watching 5 new movies.
some of u may be able to catch 1 with me =p.

anyway thats, it. i cant liaoz.
i gotta sleep. blog about NEH, CHOCOLATE and stories tmr. or sumthing.

Cloud Forgiven | 6:52 AM

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

this is about a friend.aha?

first cut is the deepest - sheryl crow.
(the song this time is in no relation to the title of the post.)

kkz. i decided tonight to dedicate this post to my fren angeline aka mehmeh

one of the reasons is also cause i screwed up her true friend test
scoring the lowest , and thus feeling a tinge of guilt.

another is cause i cant seem to read her blog tonight.
and it bothers me rather a bit.

how would i know her?
well i speak to her almost everyday. even when i dont see her.
nope.its not thru sms. or phone calls.
and sometimes she doesnt even noe i am listening.

so does that mean i am a SICK STALKING PERVERT?
nah...
she has a blog.
and i visit whenever i can.

why hers?
simply.
cos altho she doesnt put 100% of her most of the time in the post.
she does the best she can.
her blog SPEAKS to you.
(not that i care for the others' blog less)

if u read. u may understand.
her posts arent always polite.
but thats HER. and US as well.
if u must place a few F**Ks in your blog.
then do it!

no, i admit that she isnt my BEST pal.
BUT! i must say. she has endeared herself to me in her blogging.
no i dun really read all the words all the time.
but to see that paragraph soothes me.
at least i know she spoke to me. or others.

thats more than i can say for SOME. (u cant guess who.trust me.)
she is my fren why? cos she blogged.
i cant chat with her.
but i went thru her day with her in her blog.posts.shoutouts.

and thats one of her special charactheristics.
her good point.
its something that i would like to highlight.

to read a blog. isnt a curse.
its a PRIVILEGE.
so if u think that u need to READ a blog cos someone posted.
and that person owes you.
GO TO HELL.

the bloggers shouldnt have to DIE in gratitude for readers.
the readers SHOULD be dying to read.

true i dun tag her board.most of the time.
to let her noe i am there.
its a personal issue of mine, in no fault of hers.
but still.i read.

anyway i thank you for blogging.
its nothing short of a miracle.
it should never be taken away from you.
its more than words.

the most painful reaction to get is not.anger.hurt.dissapointment.
its indifference.
when love doesnt speak to you at all.
when no one cares about you anymore.
-BUM's sister(sara)

Cloud Forgiven | 9:45 AM

Sunday, May 20, 2007

dance floor 101

cry me a river - justin timberlake

getting to hear this song is tough. so hard to get a good quality of this song.

i like the lyrics of this song.

its sounds like something i went thru.

this is a story of how justin timberlake got thru. too.

my mind is troubled tonight.

and i dont know who to consult.

hahax.

i am done thinking.
i am done being reasonable.
i am done being fair.
i am done being calm.

i want instant gratification.
me.
me.
and me.

there isnt a YOU.
my final relic has returned.
now its time to return all thats yours.
memories.works.promises.

i aint keeping to my promises.
i aint keeping to my words.
i aint keeping shit.
its all outside the window.

"bridges will burn ,now its your turn to cry".-cry me a river(justin)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HOLD ON! WAIT! HAVE I GONE CRAZY?!!!

wad am i doing?
ripping my core being.
for something.insubstantial?
selling my soul to the devil,for no reward?

there isnt a happy ending for me like this.
hahax.
its like attempting to get attention via a suicide act,
when even the police dont care.

but to be honest. i dunno whats going in my head,
calm in a minute,
gone in a flash.
madness lighting up the sky.

issit possible.that i am faking this?
caring more now that its over, than when it actually mattered?

ah.but nvm. we let justin advise for now.
its your problem,not mine.
i will settle my own sins,just like u yours.
let madness, reign for a while more.

"You were my sun, you were my earth
but you didnt know all the ways I loved you,no
So you took a chance, made other plans
But I betcha didnt think that they would come crashin down, no"........

"you told me you love me
Why did you leave me all alone
now you tell me you need me
When you call me on the phone"........

"You know that they say somethings are better left Unsaid
It wasnt like you only talked to him
And you know it (Dont act like you dont know it)
all of these things people told me keep messin with my head
shoulda been honesty
then you may not have thought it".......

-justin timberlake/cry me a river
(a man who got BETTER,not bitter)

Cloud Forgiven | 10:16 AM

Friday, May 18, 2007

the mirror of erised (desire)

psycho girl - busted

*forewarn*
Guys with girlfriends. try this.
close your girls eyes and play this song. and sing to it to her.
and just before this song ends. place a kiss on her lips.
see her response...

if she responds with a slap. she is normal.
if she responds with an insult. she is normal.
if she reponds by kissing you BACK! she is your PSYCHO girl =D

*disclaimer*
I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ACTIONS OF YOUR GIRLFRIEND!

!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!
back to blogging.

if i were to look into the mirror of erised....
(if u were PRO, you would know its from HARRY POTTER)
i would see...
i dunno.

perhaps myself lying in a coffin.
with a smile on my face.

WHY SO WEIRD ONE ?!!!

cos that means that i have done all i wanted to do.
and rest for eternity.

i desire fufilment.
but it hasnt arrived,
in the form i want it to appear.
i dun even know how i want it served
...

tell u about my SKILLS test.
i did badly and i passed.
i feel like shit.
i dun deserve that pass.

the simplest of the 3...
i couldnt even count my steps right...
my frens failed...
they deserved better...
its like i am depriving them of their right to pass...
my dissapointment in my self is there.

----------------------------------------------------------------
even worse.
my dissapointment is increased...
when i hear from others...
on wads happening.

i am hearing from people i havent seen for so long.
they try to advice me on wads going on.
this is how bad it is...
i am not surprised if everyone knows now...

perhaps it was wrong of me to post
about something so personal on this blog.
but really.
i am so dissapointed.

i expected more.
characther.

i almost relented.
ALMOST.
but i wont.
because it appears u still dun understand.
and i doubt your ability to change.
i am so so so dissapointed.
and still i wont tell u what the problem is.
i refuse.
and so u may never change cos i never told u the reason.

****************************************************

had dinner earlier.
with FERDY,JACQ,JEREMY,ALVIN,WENDY.
hahax. i tell u....JEREMY IS GONNA get us sent to jailed and beaten up.
he found a new WORD. its call PURNARDI.

ask him. he will be glad to tell u.
he went to almost every girl we walked passed..and asked if they had.
their size.
and FRESHNESS....

omgohies...he was about to say to 2 young ladies!
and surprise!
wendy's sister was one of them.
its like WAH LAN EH! SI BEI HENG U NEVER SAY SIA!
WENDY IS LIKE JUST BEHIND U SOMEMORE!

dinner was a great affair.
had something yummy. its called BAN MIAN.
and i made jeremy choke twice. YAY!
it was about NASI BABI!

ALVIN: wadcha guys want?
jeremy : ban mian
wendy *shakes head and moves to bak chor mee stall*
Bum : nasi babi
Alvin :Ban mian, nasi ba....ba....BI? EH BRO DUN HAVE LA.
Bum *bursts out laughing*
Bum : having ban mian *still sniggling*

yeap. i was naughty.
then we had SAMBAL KANKONG.
nice.
then walk walk abit at NTUC.
then go home lo.

today was fun la.
just like every other day.
its gotta be how u look at it.

there is always be something to be thankful for.
and today i had an opportunity to eat with friends.

It shows us nothing more or less than the deepest,
more desperate desire of our hearts.
Men have wasted away before it,
entranced by what they have seen,
or have been driven mad,
not knowing if what it shows is real
or even possible.

-albus dumbledore
(an extract from the philosopher's stone)

Cloud Forgiven | 10:49 AM

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Good morning.lolz...didnt want to study so i blogged.

*listening to song from IVAN's home blog page.*

"YEA!" and "OH DAMMIT!"
were the words of choice ytd evening.
hahax.by now u can guess...
we Dota-ed with jeremy,roy,alvin,romy,kenneth and YOURs TRULY.

basically i know why guys LIKE dota so much now.
cos its like PLAYING CATCHING without looking UNcool infront of the girls =p.
yes yes, we were re-living happy childhood.with VULGARITIES and HEATED comments.
i think it should be considered excercise cos my heart is pumping all the way.

was really pleased.i was LIKE "shooting" the U-KNOW-WAD! and stunning people.
and like i was holding up with a hero i tot i really sucked at.
of course stupid kenneth and jeremy was making run me from them all the map.
bwahahah....HOW to ONE on ONE a naix or centaur warchief.(dun act smart jerome =p)

supposed to be studying for my clinical tests.
2 years ago i would have been terrified at the thoughts of failing.
but now.its kinda embarrassing to say the least. maybe dissapointing to my parents.
but its alrite.

not too sure if i have turned worse.hahax.
i have traded attributes for one another.
slightly disturbing.i tell lies with no worries.
i never intended to grow up that way.
but it appears that you are forced to LIE in this world if u wanna live.
oh well its adjusting i suppose.

kkz------------------------------------------
we talk abit more on sat =p.
i dunno why my thoughts like to linger there.
...
woke up late as usual.
in the end jerermy came over to TPY station to pass me the clothes.=p
hahax. had milkshake with romy.
stained the clothes jeremy lent...

IT WASNT EVEN 10 MINUTES after he LEFT...
lol GOSH i am a freaking KLUTZ....

then i tagged along to ANGIEs house.
to bum here and there.
till meeting time.

then at at her house.
we got lost on the way.
went to some wrong floor.
and this weird family kept staring at us...

and i wanted to do an re-anactment of jeremy's KUA SI MI LAN JIAO.
i understanded that, between me and jerome, we take 5% of the world's
handsomeness.

so finally found angie's house.
tadaaa! i tot she renovated.
........it appears she changed furniture...
then i rushed to change clothes.
and chased ANGIE to her room.

lol. i looked like a freaking gay....no offense jeremy. too small la.
and i SCREAMED like a freaking sissy...
why...
cos...
of...
the...
freaking...

TERAPIN/TURTLE/tortoise/soup ingredients/WADSYACALLLIT!
angie was like on the phone...and pointing.
i was like ???
and then i turned.

AND OMG!
it was A MONGSTER! staring into my EYES! and it MOVED!
freaky!
and it wasnt IN ITS" BOWL!

no la...i was just kinda shocked to find another living being thingy next to me.(beside jerome)
and i almost stepped on the fella...
wad if it BIT ME?
i simply cant bear the the thought...BITTEN BY A tortoise.
OH THE SHAME! how to tell my frens...

then i shooed him to his BOWL...
which apparently. HE CLIMBS INTO THE BATHROOM FOR WATER!
its RATHER TALENTED!

what the hell. u might as well call it ANGIE, put it IN ANGIE's BED.give it ANGIE's LAPPY and
ask ENOCH to STEAD it.

thats an interesting thought....
kkz.
pause here.
i wanna practice some skills.
*rain check*

Cloud Forgiven | 5:54 PM

Sunday, May 13, 2007

you may find out things about me?

come away with me - norah jones

due to other upcoming projects i may cut this short.
=p.
just did my quiz for buddies.
so u can try it out ( i wont post it here) =D

there have been so many posts that were left unpublished.
so many emotions.that were non-sensical.
hahax. i sort of got over my sadness.
or sumthing.i hope.heex heex.

what i know i didnt get rid off was my dissapointment.
it will stay.
what i know i am.
irritated.after everything.all i got was an I WAS CONFUSED.
i feel there was a serious LACK of commitment.
seriously.
but it doesnt matter.you werent really interested.
and i was rather stupid to push it.

well.a lot of people are right in this way or another.
i was stubborn.
and i got wad i rightly deserved.
no biggie.it wasnt all that bad la. (hmmm....)

now how did i become calmer?
hahax.
cos of saturday.
WHY?

i met someone.
to buy a gift for someone else.
we spent more time away shopping for the gift.
rather than at the bday party *smiles*

she was pretty.
nice.
and she knew more than i let on.
and she HAD a sense of humour.

but she wasnt interested.
but its okay.
i didnt have anything to offer anyway.
but i was happy.

why. caused perhaps.
i felt people did want me after all.
not her la.
but you know...

*realises this isnt short*
but wad the heck.

its like.
i do lack in the looks/brains/money/maturity department.
so i dont expected to be wanted...
and since everyone views me as a fren...
well.u get the ugly picture...
of me...bwahahahah.

*STOP SNIGGLING kay!*

hahax.yea.
happy.

I AM NOT A FLIRT.
all i wanted someone to hold.
to keep.maybe to love in that special way.
just like everyone else.

kkz.i may blog later.
or sometime down the road..
*7 year old sister is dumping ice on me*
is freaking cold.hahax. little sisters.cant get less lovable.

i just came without an invitation, hoping to be loved

- quoting from an MSN fren's nick.

Cloud Forgiven | 5:24 AM